Skype Counseling

I am now offering online individual and couples counseling via skype. This is useful for couples who can’t find childcare or don’t want to get stuck in traffic trying to make it to one of my locations. I offer this for couples and individuals who live in remote areas and are seeking quality couples and […]

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How to Transform Negative Beliefs

lucian schloss - portland oregon couple's counselor

How to Transform Negative Beliefs. Next time your are feeling bad about yourself or someone else: PAUSE. BREATHE. NOTICE YOUR SENSATIONS, EMOTIONS AND THOUGHTS. (in that order). Ask yourself “what am I believing right now”? “What is the negative story I am telling myself”? For Example: As I write this I notice I feel a […]

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Are we compatible?

  “The purpose of romantic love is to select and bond with the perfectly incompatible mate”. Harville Hendrix That’s right people! At some point, you will look at your partner and see a stranger. You will think, how did I marry this person or how come I love someone who is so different than I […]

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EMDR

EMDR Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing is a very powerful and well researched tool to help free us from te tyranny of traumatic events. Using Bilateral Stimulation of the hemispheres of the brain it appears to uncover emotional stuck and traumatic memory allowing the individual to reprocess the event and desensitize its emotional charge. “The speed at which […]

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Do we need help? A couples quiz

Deciding whether to do couples counseling or not can be a difficult decision. Some of the questions you might be asking yourself are: Are we just having a difficult time do to outside stress?  Can we afford couples counseling? How do we know if it will help? Below is a short quiz you can take […]

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Slow E-motion

There are many movements now across the world encouraging people to slow down. Whether it is the slow food movement or simplicity parenting, people are seeing the physiological, psychological and spiritual benefits of slowing down. I would like to suggest that this goes for your relationship as well. Many couples I see complain of not […]

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Becoming a mindful parent.

Nobody escapes childhood unscathed, with all developmental needs and tasks met and completed. Our biography effects our biology and our biology in return influences the choices, behaviors and emotions that shape our biography. The result is that we bring out past often into our present and especially into the relationships that are the most dear. […]

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Acceptance and Personal Growth

Acceptance and Personal Growth.   As a couples counselor in Portland Oregon, who works with couples 5 days a week on the trials of communication, connection and romance,  I have come to the conclusion that there are two keys for a satisfying long term relationship. The first is a deep and open acceptance for who […]

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Empathy, Media and Trauma

I wrote this for my families school community.   Dear Cedarwood Community, ! The tragic events that have passed over the planet like a wave of grief since last week are living in each one of us and our community. Since Cedarwood is our shared space, I felt the desire to write this email. I […]

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Enhance connection and safety, Enhance your sex life

As a couples counselor in Portland Oregon, I see many couples who suffer from a lack of sexual intimacy. In most couple relationships there is a higher desire partner and lower desire partner. When these dynamics go out of balance, the higher desire partner can feel unwanted, frustrated and abandoned; while the lower desire partner […]

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